New York City and 10 years.

Sometimes when you look back to your younger self, it’s almost like watching a movie character or an animated character walking back and forth on the screen. It doesn’t feel real. And so different from who you are now.

I lived and worked in New York City since end of 2012. I moved into my godfather’s FiDi high-rise at a reduced rent. It still was quite expensive relatively speaking. About $1300-$1400. But it was doable. I remember many of my friends visiting and being semi-jealous that I was living in such a nice place. It was just a temporary luxury though. Less than one year, I would not be able to afford the rent and decide to move out into Elmhurst, Queens and try to stand on my own two feet, living in a much smaller place. Boy, those were the days … and I mean those were some of the roughest years of my life between 2013 to 2015.

I had just quit my day-job as a marketing grunt after one year. I was determined to become a famous stand-up comedian. I was 23 going on 24 at the time. Now I look back, it’s literally been 10 years.

Was it all a lie? Just an illusion? No, there are certain things that are not lies about New York City. The fact that you CAN “make it” there is not a lie. It’s just incredibly tough. The fact that there’s opportunities abound here is not a lie. There’s very accomplished people, impressive individuals, “made” people living and working there, that’s not a lie either. The fact that you can learn new things, and be exposed to the cutting edge, new ideas … that’s not a lie either.

But is it full of wannabes, liars, vultures and thieves? Sure, more than anywhere else. A veteran stand-up comedian friend Ashley Gavin once told me that there’s so many people in the entertainment industry just trying to take advantage of young, aspiring comics and actors and just sucking them dry in terms of money, time, labor, etc while baiting them with hopes and dreams of becoming a success. It does attract … a certain kind of people, attracted to the glamour.

But I don’t want to live based on appearances anymore. In life, there’s things more beautiful than just appearances. More important than appearances. The truth is really out there. And when it’s dolled up with fancy lights like in New York City, it’s hard not to get distracted by the bright lights, and miss the truth.

What do I want from life now?



loving kindness.


genuine, deep relationships.



time and place to meditate and think.

to be one with nature.

to get closer to God.

those things … are most likely much easier outside of the busy hustle and bustle of New York City.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.