Distance

It’s usually easy for me to talk to people … but with age gaps, and other gaps (differences in background, upbringing, job title, etc) … it becomes even harder for me to be able to connect strongly with people.

I usually have always found that conversing with older adults is easier … most likely due to them having less egos and developed mental/emotional maturity (on average) than younger folks …

But if I were to want to become somebody who can offer value to the world, I do want to improve on that ability to close that gap. Are we that different after all … or can we bond over that shared pain, shared vulnerabilities … shared humanity?

It is weird. When I was a kid, I offered up my most vulnerable stories on the internet to share with the Korean people. Some of them really loved it. But after becoming an adult, I almost naturally gravitated toward just “PR”ing myself … that we need to crowd the shared space with “me me me” to try to win respect among everybody.

It works to a certain extent. If you never ever demonstrated your “good qualities” and things that make you different, then that’s definitely unfair. But that alone … i feel … is not enough to develop strong bonds with people. It’s much stronger and truer … to share pain with people honestly, without judgment and in a supported environment. To share pleasure with people is temporary and goes away easily because people can usually find alternatives elsewhere. But shared pain. shared frustrations. shared tears. That really is rare and special.

Perhaps I’ve been doing it all wrong.

Is it possible for me to be vulnerable again? I am afraid of being judged. But If I were always afraid … i would never accomplish anything. Memento mori. I will be judged, but doing it in spite of it … perhaps … is the right path.

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