오늘의 바둑 교훈

처음에 이길 것같다가 실수를 해서 큰 코를 다쳤다. 백이였는데 …
삼삼으로 침투 … 그러다가 그 침투진이 전부 잡혔다. 젊은 20대에 내 인생을 망치는 것처럼 …


하지만 마지막까지 포기하지 않았다. 그리고 나머지의 모든 기회들을 살리고 싸워서 기다렸다. 


그랬더니 왠일인가. 상대방이 실수를 남발했다. 나한테는 보이는데 상태방이 전혀 볼수없는 쉬운 돌들이 나왔다. 그 기회에 적의 큰 진에 침투하니 그 진의 모든 돌들이 한꺼번에 다 죽었다. 처음에 내 실수로 죽었던 수의 3-4배는 더 큰 이익이었다. 
아주 큰 승리였다. 
🙂


당신의 인생이 죽고 모든 것이 희망없어 보일때 …포기하지 않고 살아 나간다면 … 반드시 … 해결책 … 구원이 … 기적이 일어난다.
끝까지 포기하지 않기. 모든 승부에서 😉 직장에서. 연애에서.경쟁에서. 운명에서. 꿈의 실현에서.

advice

Sooner or later, we all die.

As I watch my own parents get older and more frail, it hits me too. The people I used to know are older now. The older mentors I used to look up to as well. It would be so sad when they are gone permanently. It’s also a bit sad because I wanted those mentors to see me become super successful career-wise or wealthy or whatever. I’m nowhere as near as that lol. But I guess I can’t be too greedy.

I had a couple incidents recently where people younger than me seemed a little jealous or competitive with me. It’s of course common to see people like that. In general, younger people tend to be less secure in themselves and so their ability to control and observe their ego is a bit less trained. So they have something to prove. So they pick fights.

It’s a bit bittersweet for me. I know I’m not old/wise enough to impart a lot of wisdom for those younger people and yet I’m not young enough to be a “new kid on the block”, same as the other young kids.

If I have anything to say … I guess it is to lead by example. Sometimes with kindness and gentleness. Sometimes with sternness and discipline. But mostly, to show through action the kind of person that I am. All the words and smiles in the world cannot win popularity, at least not permanently. To really win the respect of others around you and to have them on your side, I think I really do need to do more than what I’ve been doing … more than just being a nice guy. I need to go and do hard things that most people are not doing. I need to go and learn hard things that most people will have trouble learning, definitely things that I will have trouble learning. I need to go and challenge myself to things that I have never done before.

Otherwise, I will get left behind like a useless outdated old scrap! lol

모두와 친구를 하고 싶지만 그렇게 쉽지는 않네요. 일은 역시 사적인 우정과는 다른 것 같습니다. 약육강식의 법칙인가요? 인생, 직업 … 모두 결국에는 치열한 경쟁인가요? 우리의 인간사회란 힘든 것 같습니다. 이 경쟁에서 지는 사람들은 낙오자 취급받고 돈을 덜 벌고. 이 경쟁에서 이기는 사람만에게 큰 명예와 권력과 행복이 있는 걸까요?

싸움에서 질 생각은 없지만 … 인생이 싸움의 연속이라는 것이 피곤하기도 합니다. 우리는 싸우기 위해서 태어난 것일까요?

Dear Kobe

코비! 1년 반 밖에 양육하지 못해서 미안하구낭 ㅜㅠ

많이 사랑했단다. 지금은 아직 많이 슬프구나.

고맙다. 앞으로는 장난끼와 에너지 많은 너랑 뛰놀면서 항상 같이 있어주는 가족옆에서 자라도록 기도할게.

마이 베스트 프렌드!!

The Story of the Gentle Bear

Once upon a time in a mountain, lived a gentle bear. He was full of love and wished the best for all of God’s animals. The Bear didn’t have any family of his own but was strong, hard-working and generosity. The gentle bear was giving and always sharing his fish with other animals. A vulture and a fox ate together with the bear as he brought them all kinds of fishes. But the vulture and the fox kept wanting more and more and got greedy. 

The cunning vulture one day said to the bear, 

“Bear, I know the secret to becoming human that only takes two years. I will teach you how to become human if you give me a fish everyday for next three months.” 

The bear listened and brought the vulture a fish everyday for three months. The vulture ate happily all this free food. But the vulture, at the end of the three months, it demanded even more. 

“If you now give me three fishes a day, I will teach you how to become a human in six months.” 

The bear had heard enough. 

‘I imagine this bird will keep lying to until I feed him the entire ocean.’ 

 It smiled at the bird and said to himself, 

“That’s the way that God designed vultures. I cannot change his cunning nature but I showed him the best kindness I can. And I learned my lesson not to trust vultures. And that is enough.” 

And the gentle Bear went on his way. 

For the next few months, the vulture tricked other animals into doing hard work and lied to them in order to get food and pick up the scraps. But the next time the vulture tried to trick a large animal, he wasn’t so lucky. It was a Panther. When the Panther realized that he had been tricked by the vulture’s lies, it became angry. 

“How dare you trick me! I’m one of the fiercest creatures in the jungle. I will teach you a lesson.” 

The Panther bit the vulture by the throat and killed him instantly for breakfast. 

The Fox wanted to trick the gentle Bear as well. The fox used his cute children to get the Bear’s attention. 

“Oh, gentle Bear, I have these six little fox babies to feed but I’ve hurt my leg and cannot hunt. We are hungry, cold and weak. Please share your fishes with us every day for next few weeks.”

The Fox was actually unharmed and capable of hunting but lying to the Bear. But the Bear felt sympathy for the family. The Fox’s children had big eyes and said hello to the Bear whenever He came near. The Bear brought them a fish for every single member of the family every day for months. They ate joyously. After this, the Fox said.

“Oh, gentle Bear. Thank you. Now keep doing this and I will help you. I am smart and have the respect of other big cats, even panthers and tigers. I will help you someday become the king of the mountain but for now, keep feeding us. Keep feeding my babies until they become big and strong. Keep feeding us for the whole next year.”

But the Bear was not stupid. He knew that if he had kept on working and feeding the fishes to the Fox and his family instead of feeding himself for an entire year, he would surely exhaust or starve himself. The Bear saw through the Fox’s greedy nature. 

“Oh Fox. I’ve shown you the best kindness I could show, but you still demand more from me. Your needs have no limits. I cannot help anymore. I am too exhausted.”

The Bear then said his goodbyes to the Fox and his children and left. The Fox and its children looked at the Bear with disappointed eyes but the Bear knew that he had to leave them or they would keep taking advantage of his gentle nature.

“I cannot give more kindness than I can afford. I must take care of myself as much as I take care of others. Or others will keep taking from me without leaving anything for my own,” the gentle Bear realized.

A few weeks later, a severe drought hit the mountain. There was no water for days and scarcely any food to be found. Because the thieving Fox had depended on the Bear for food, it had forgotten how to hunt properly and not saved up anything for emergencies. The fox and its children became thin and weak. When a hungry Panther walked by them, they became easy meals for the Panther’s breakfast.

“A bunch of small fox children and their good-for-nothing Dad. I guess it’s better than eating nothing,” the Panther muttered to himself after his meal.

The gentle bear was starving too during the drought and fainted from tiredness in the middle of the mountain. He was thin and weak.

“Oh, I guess this is the end for me,” the Bear said.

“At least I loved everybody as much as I can. Although my friends tricked me, I’ve lived helping friends in need. I regret nothing. I can die happily.”

The Bear was on the ground panting his last breaths.

That is when he heard the light steps of a human. It was a young woman with long black hair dressed in a white robe and wearing a silver necklace and shiny earrings. She was carrying a satchel and hiking in sandals. Soon behind her, a group of servants came running after her. 

“Please be careful, princess. There are wild animals and bears and panthers in these mountains.” 

The Bear looked up and saw the face of the woman brimming with curiosity and wonder. The Bear licked her hand as she reached down her fingers towards his face. She felt unafraid and smiled at him.

“What an amazing nice bear. I feel bad for him, he is about to die. Let’s bring him food and water.”

The princess asked her servants to bring a huge palanquin that could put the gentle bear inside. When the group made it back to the village with the palanquin, all of the village folks gasped and shouted in wonder and excitement to see a large bear gently and calmly sitting inside a large palanquin for humans. When the Bear arrived at a huge palace garden, the servants laid out fishes, grasses, berries and insects for the Bear for a feast. The Bear gobbled up the feast while the Princess smiled besides him and watched him in delight. 

And the Gentle Bear and the Princess became best friends for 10 years to come. When the Bear became old and frail, the Bear died peacefully in his sleep in the Princess’s arms. People all cried for him.

“Let’s remembered him as the hero, the gentle protector of the mountain,” the Princess declared while wiping her eyes. 

Right church

I’ve always thought this about churches but it’s a peculiar organization filled with … profit-motive and also other motives. It’s very interesting to look deeper into what motivates people to do things the way they do there. Some people go to church to look for spiritual guidance. Some to find company to relieve their loneliness. Some to find meaning. It seems like they use a variety of techniques to get people to pay up money and supporting churches. ‘Feigning a certain type of brand image’ seems to be one of them. To pretend like they are doing a lot for the community … might be an example as well.


[5:54 PM]I have always been disappointed. It never had to be that way. Whether it’s a cult that extorts money from people promising them some spiritual awakening, or even corrupt christian churches, the leaders of those organizations seem to care very little for the followers and the people in pain who actually need help. instead, they make a living off of taking advantage of those people, convincing them A is right, or they need to do B. Or even worse, they might even pretend to be “spiritual authority” … and then just fool people into following them as spiritual leaders.


At an ideal church, or just a group that helps each other … there would be no donation necessary or money-motive whatsoever. Almost like a free-forming “meetup” group that’s open to everyone, we could just come together from all walks of life and celebrate God, spirituality, values and morality and how to strengthen ourselves spiritually.

I guess that’s too much to ask in today’s day and age of money-hungry people.

I pray that God gives us true guidance, the wisdom to tell apart the corrupted from the innocent. So that next generations will be wiser than the one currently living now. We need true churches that cares about its brothers and sisters.

The Beatitudes

I had never understood why Jesus said this … blessed are the meek and the humble and peace-makers …

I started thinking today … that maybe … in this world full of power-grabbers, backstabbers, people willing to do anything to show off and assert their dominance over other people … (it must have been like that back then too) … and cause strife, conflict, power struggles and unnecessary anger …

The one who lives for their fellow brothers and sisters is the one that KNOWS that other people naturally try to do this. That all human beings have a tendency to want to feel powerful / popular … that nobody wants to feel weak, unimportant and irrelevant.

And so he/she adjusts his attitude in this crowd of fighting people. He can be the meek one. She can be the humble one. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the Children of God. He/she picks the narrow path. Undeniably the harder path, the hardest path … is to realize that other people have this natural tendency to assert dominance and fight for dominance … and to understand that and to move forward without contributing to that chaos.

Being a peacemaker in this situation, cannot be considered “weak” but instead wise … and aligned with the Spirit of God in the big picture … fighting for dominance between each other is such a small deal in the big scheme of life.

To create the world that God envisions in this world, it is perhaps the willingness to be humble, to seem meek, and in a lowly position that will create harmony between all the men and women. On the contrary, perhaps it is the tendency for certain people to show off, brag, to want to seem powerful and in a high important position … that causes unnecessary strife and disharmony.

And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the humble in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.

10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Books are amazing

I’ve realized recently that books are a real amazing way for us to get on the same brain wavelength as some of the greatest minds that have ever evolved and lived in this world. Autobiographies are especially great but fiction writers are just as good.

As we tap into their consciousness, we can glean and absorb all sorts of (not just knowledge) … spiritual consciousness. Their love. Even their passions. Their interests. Their unique sense of humor. Their tastes. Their left brain and right brain. The way they say things is a real great way for us to learn to be like them, think like them. The way they order phrases and sentences, even, is a huge boon for our mind. I guess that’s why we always love quotes from famous people as well. Things that buddha said, jesus said, albert einstein etc … we get a glimpse into the extraordinary brain wave that existed when they were alive.

I’ve been realizing that good writing cannot come from a “bad” consciousness. Meaning unless he/she works on themselves mentally, physically, spiritually, good writing just cannot (it is impossible) to be born that actually touches people in a major way. I feel that I’ve tried myself. When I drink too much alcohol or don’t take care of myself, or am lacking discipline in some area of my life, it shows in my writing. It’s not as fluid, not as strong. I can’t get a grip on what I’m trying to say. But when I have a good handle on my spiritual life, it really just flows, I believe, from the Spirit.

Perhaps same with voice, speaking voice, singing voice. Usually a voice, and the power that comes from a voice, is a reflection of their inner strength and spirit as well …

P.S.

Elon Musk better keep working on NeuraLink … so that we can eventually “download” and “upload” brains into our collective internet! 🙂 that would be cool.

Colors of the Wind

my fav song! lyrics are beautiful.

How high does the sycamore grow

if you cut it down, you will never know.

we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain.

we need to paint with all the colors of the wind.

whether we are white or copper-skinned

you can own the earth and still

all you will own is earth until

you can paint with the colors

of the wind

젊은 사람들에게 영향을 끼치는 일

나이가 어렸을 때는 별로 누구를 가르치고 싶다거나 지도하고 싶은 마음이 전혀 없었다.

나도 이제 청년이라고 하기에는 너무 나이가 높아지고 있지만 그래도 청년들에게 영향을 끼치고 어떤 특정된 방향으로 지도하려고 하는 나이든 사람들을 보면 약간 비판적인 생각이 많이 든다. (현재의 40대, 50대, 60대 사람들). 너무 강요를 해서 부담스러울 때가 많다. 근거가 별로 없다. 자기의 행동이나 어려운 일을 성취함으로서 롤모델이 되려는 생각을 하지도 않는다. 그냥 쉽게쉽게 말로만 처리하려고 한다. “이렇게 해라.” “저렇게 해라.” “진리란 이것이다.” “자기를 따르라” 고 말만 하지 정당한 이유를 말하지는 않는다.

정말 동등한 시점에서 설명해주었으면 좋겠다. 내가 왜 그렇게 해야되냐. 윗사람이 아랫사람에게 이야기하는 태도가 아니라 (꼰대질은 쉽게 질린다) 그걸 설명해주는 일이 그렇게 어려울까? 아마도 정당한 이유가 없고 “내가 그렇게 믿으니까 너도 그렇게 믿어라” 라는 터무니없고 비합리적인 생각을 강요하려고 하니까 설명하기가 힘들 것이다.

어떤 사회적 위치에서 정당한 이유로 존경이나 존망을 받지 못하는 사람일수록 더 꼰대질에 고집한다. “내가 나이가 많으니까 너는 나의 말에 순종하고 내가 더 잘 안다.” 무슨 말도 안되는 소리인가? 제갈량은 유비보다 20살은 더 어렸다. 요즘에 entrepreneurship 과 innovation 을 담당하는 선구자들은 젊은 사람들이다.

나도 책을 쓸 때나 다른 사람들앞에서 무언가 이야기를 나누어야될 나이가 되면 이런 식의 강요를 하기는 싫다. 두번째 쓴 책에서도 약간 너무 꼰대질이 아니냐고 하는 편집자의 말에 약간 충격이었다. 아마도 자기중심적으로 내가 믿는 것만 너무 고집해서 그런 것일수도 있다.

정말 내 자신이 배우고 싶고 존경하는 롤모델들은 말을 그럴싸하게 하는 사람들이 아니다. 오히려 나랑 말을 그렇게 말을 한 적이 없거나 아예 그냥 한번도 만난 적이 없는 사람들이 가장 큰 우상이 된다. 그 사람들이 행동을 통해서 보여준다. 말은 적게 하고 행동으로 보이는 사람들이다. 용기. 성숙함. 진리. 지혜. 인덕.

누구를 가르치고 지도하고 싶지는 않다. 나이가 들면 다 비슷하게 내가 깨달았던 것들을 다 깨달을 것이다. 하지만 나의 작품이나 행실을 통해 용기/기쁨을 얻는 사람들이 있었으면 좋겠다.

만약에 하나 라도 제대로 말하고 싶은 것이 있다면 … 자기자신을 믿고. 어려울 때 포기하지 말고. 자기의 꿈을 버리지 말고. 타인의 시선 신경쓰지 않고 전력을 다해서 모든 일에 도전해 보아라. 그것이 아닐까.

Carpe Diem 하라고. 그리고 나같이 늙어 가는 사람들을 초월하라고. 부모님이 하라는 대로, 나이든 사람이 하라는 대로. 상사가 하라는 대로가 모든 것이 아니라. 다음의 세대는 그 전의 세대를 초월해야 된다고. 꼰대질하는 사람들 별로 신경쓰지 않고 자기만의 철학을 믿을지라도 “진리” 를 쫒아가라고. 진리가 승리라고.

한국도 점점 그런 사회가 되었으면 좋겠다.