In my head, I’m still feeling the same as I did when i was 24, 25. But I’m 35,36. In a weird way, I must actively shed the parts of myself that were 24, 25 (that were there then and still rampant now) physically, mentally, emotionally … in order to evolve into this next phase of my life. I used to think all that growing up just happens naturally. Instead, it’s actually an active process. I must choose to want to grow up. I must choose to take charge of my life. Perhaps that’s what all my escapism was all about, and everyone else too. To make a living doing what you love is a dream in the clouds, and when you say something like that to somebody who survived in Vietnam during the Vietnam War, or the 80 and 90s of Korea like Mom/Dad did, just anybody who’s been through real poverty, they all know reality is not that naive. To make a living doing something remotely “fun” and “enjoyable” is a pipe dream for 99.99% of people.
BUT what you are not wrong about as a dreamer pursuing your vision is that it’s not enough to consider it just a fun hobby but instead your life calling for the rest of your life. How you balance that pursuit is up to you totally.